"Giving Love like Giving Blood"

This is another poem that I wrote a long time ago, but I really love it and figured I'd share.
(Written 5-10-10)

A girl with the most admirable of intentions

To find for herself what she knew was elusive and often harboring pretentions

Sucks in air, breathes deep, settles into the chair,

And smiles though she’s scared

His reassuring face, his silky voice, is pleasant enough

But swallowing down her rising fear is tough

This is something so risky, possibly mordacious, and new,

Something she has not yet had the pleasure to grow used to

She’s never felt this way before

She trembles in her seat, but she wants more

She wants to follow through

To be brave, a soldier risking red blood once blue

What terrifies her most is not a punctured vein

She doesn’t let herself linger on pain

But the threat of a long term detrimental change

Has her hesitant to squeeze his hand and rearrange

Her independence is precious, but she was willing to share

If only he could promise her that he would always be there

The instant it pierced her flesh she panicked 

A rivulet of deep purple streamed down her arm and she grew frantic

She could feel it leaving her, the necessities draining

And in realizing that the sensation was real, she felt like fainting

But for her, to quit was to fail

Not only in the act, but also for herself, and she dug in with her nails

He would feel the pain, and suffer through her distress

And only if at the conclusion, he was there crooning still, would she confess

The bruising he saw rushing to her very fragile arms this instant,

Was something with witch she was familiar, a reminder, she’d thought she’d needed distance

But the dark and gruesome shading would prove

That out of things perilous, harmful, and arduous to struggle though

Spring things that despite a few wounds of the body and soul

Make it all seem worth while, convincing her to strive towards that goal

A Girl's True Love

This is a poem I wrote a long time ago for my best friend.

A Girl’s True Love

Dedicated to Krystal Saint James

By Victoria Wolfgang

A longing for closeness in everyone thrives

And most commonly mistake the filler.

Solemness of lonely pierces like knives

When one’s view is but one in the mirror.

However, luck seemed to shine upon me

When by chance I uncovered an answer

An unexpected friendship came to be

We laughed, matured, all the while together.

Seeking soul’s Companion? Unrealistic.

Someone to love forever? A true friend.

While he’s just passing through you heart, she’ll stick

She’s a crying shoulder there for your mend

And looking back, you know she never left,

Was the one to steal your heart not in theft,

But in FRIENDSHIP.

Trust

"Trust"

How dare you preach about trust

"Its so misleading. Its so hard to find."

When you yourself gave in to lust

and sacrificed the one girl's heart who had been nothing but kind

She alone loved you unconditionally

In her eyes there was no other man

And you let her fall carelessly

To woo a few adoring fans

You told her how you'd been hurt, battered and bruised

And she made the most valiant attempt to reassure you

So naturally she was dumbfounded when the tables were turned

And the time came for her to have her own heart burned

A whole right through the center where a fortress once stood

But she built the wall back up much swifter

Then you would have ever dreamed she could

Sound the Alarm for Someone in Need

This is a poem I dedicate to a sweet boy that I knew back in middle school. He committed suicide a few years back because he was bullied horribly in high school. The night of the funeral so many people showed up to pay their respects that everyone couldn't fit inside the church. Rest in Peace.

“Sound the Alarm for Someone in Need”

Has simply being kind to one another become such a drudgery task?

I ponder this grievous question so often; I feel the need to ask

Why friendships and civility have become something to feign

And people seem to really not comprehend the magnitude of pain

That harsh words and snide comments can inflict

Upon an ego, a person’s heart that is already terribly sick

You never really can tell the hardships any one person could bear

So I ask you once again, Why Wouldn’t you treat them fair?

How have they wronged you?  What ever have they done?

That has impelled you to taunt, and see treating them wrongly as fun

What do you get out of this, a laugh, an expedient way out?

Instead of behaving generously, and choosing a more difficult route

Surely you were raised better, Go hang your head in shame

If all the while you’ve been so mean, to achieve a little more fame

And aren’t we just as much to blame, for so long have we let this go

With eyes not so blind as biased, and hearts oh so shallow

To refrain from stepping in for someone who has done no one harm

To sit by aimlessly and watch, instead of sounding the alarm

The Monster Inside

"The Monster Inside"

The monster inside has long been dormant and sleeping
Since back when its vessel was of a flimsy, weak innocence
But out of unplanned and unlucky circumstances, the monster is awake and creeping
A creature that feeds on anxiety and fear, whose only goal is malevolence
It whispers glorious, astounding, terrible thoughts into her ear
And shows itself to outsiders so rarely that they never speculate it’s there
Things she never thought herself capable of, acts she could never even fathom,
Replay over in her mind, at every blink of an eye, at every rest of her head
She feels so betrayed, abandoned, and trapped by her lonesome
And the monster has blurred her vision red
By taking advantage of her loving intentions
It has become the most dangerous type of  monster
And though she’s sure these persistent thoughts will never lead to actions,
She too, is unaware of the monster’s increasing power
Just when she thought that perhaps she could escape its will
It captures the parasite eating away at her guts,
And uses this as fuel to reside inside a little longer still
It croons that it means her well, that it alone can keep her dark secrets
It tells her that everything will be ok, and that’s all she ever wanted
The voice speaks from her mind, from within the seemingly gentle breeze
A vulgar sound murmuring lies, that eat away at her like acid
And grow stronger with every vague reminder that she sees
This monster cannot be banished nor tamed
It is not a creature that ever simply goes away
And those who give it home are doomed to be shamed
For it is a part of who they are, and it will always stay
It is not a hopeless battle
But it is an eternal one
Fighting back is never futile
But can she see that on her own?

(I've started pairing my poems with some of the various photography and modeling  pictures I have, just to kind of incorporate some of my other creative outlets on this blog along with poetry)

Dooming her Heart

This is a story about something that happened a long time ago, something that I have been unable to get out of my mind lately...

"Dooming her Heart"

She knew what she was getting herself into

Even after all that he had put her heart through

The petty mind games and the pain,

The inconceivable chains that held her to him

And the struggle to free herself; a strain

She lied to herself time and time again

That she was over her infatuation, merely wanting to be friends

But when his presence was near

Her heart no doubt beat more rapidly out of fear

Fear of a reunion that she knew would take her back

Returning to a time when the power to say no was one she lacked

Not out of a pressure or influence unto her state of mind,

But out of her own decision to love him and remain blind

Undiscerning to the facts she knew well about his nature

His recurring past wouldn’t be one, even now, to falter

Although he promised, crooned and boasted

Of his infallible dedication, that which she once believed she had

His intentions meant well, even at the end of their first relation

And the actuality of his bemusement lied in this love-sick nation

So in giving him this reprieve; this second chance

She hoped she wasn’t dooming her heart

When the mans predictability was a clear science

One that hadn’t changed her feelings for him, not even from the start

And he’s telling her now that he cares

That their separation of the past was a decision he made scared

Scared of pillaging her innocence

An act of his that left her bitter with a vengeance

Was proving to her now, a fact of which she was already aware

That the boy she found such fascination with had a conscience so fair

Although cliché, she loved everything about him, even the things she hated

His beauty was something simple, but was particular to her tastes and tempted

An uncharacteristic reaction out of her that no other could induce

He was one to always tell the truth, the boy who with one breath could seduce

She loved his enthusiasm for anatomy, especially her own

She loved his goodnights every night on the phone

And when he dared to call her his baby, like he used to all those months before

Her heart skipped a beat and she had to catch her wind

With a warning that at any instant he could leave her alone again to walk out the door

But he was charming and he was handsome

He was humble, so clever, and polite

He held such intelligence within, and a humor that always inspired her to write

She even liked his bad boy appeal

Appeasing the rebellion inside her that previously she’d tried to seal

He had a voice that soothed her ears, and a touch so gentle and soft

But also the fortitude and brawn to protect her

Sending her inhibitions far and her spirits aloft

Within his arms, she felt safe and whenever his company was nearby

And all of this is what kept her up late at night when she needed shuteye

His jeep, his bike, his drumming, and Mac-n-cheese were bonuses sure nice

But what captivated her most was his beautiful changing eyes

She’d forget the power they held until he’d catch her off guard in a stare

An enchanting trap unconsciously set to ensnare

And it was during one of these such instances when she was tangled up

That he told her what she had heard, and wanted so desperately to believe last time

The promise that he would stick around, but she could never take his word as a sure sign

All that could prove it to her now was the passing of time, a fact he knew and stated

A fact that meant uncertainty, stress, and waiting, one she detested and hated

But not a fact that could relinquish her single-minded devotion

Towards this boy who so effortlessly had her heart stolen

And with the anxiety of his possible retreat looming

She made a choice not so rational in respect to her dooming

Kissing Demise

This is one of my shortest poems. I figured since Halloween is coming up in a few days I might as well be festive. It basically references a particular monster. You should be able to figure out which kind by the end ;] hehe. But it is also a metaphor for a real life situation/relationship. 

“Kissing Demise”

In looming darkness she seeks

Unknowingly pursued by shadow’s hunger

Plunged into condemned embrace when he speaks

And she’s mesmerized

As he traps her with dark eyes

A clever predator, He invokes devotion

For she’ll not catch herself

In the time before he makes the final motion

A finale of a lifetime;

An insignificance of a cursed existence

Happy Halloween!