Dooming her Heart

This is a story about something that happened a long time ago, something that I have been unable to get out of my mind lately...

"Dooming her Heart"

She knew what she was getting herself into

Even after all that he had put her heart through

The petty mind games and the pain,

The inconceivable chains that held her to him

And the struggle to free herself; a strain

She lied to herself time and time again

That she was over her infatuation, merely wanting to be friends

But when his presence was near

Her heart no doubt beat more rapidly out of fear

Fear of a reunion that she knew would take her back

Returning to a time when the power to say no was one she lacked

Not out of a pressure or influence unto her state of mind,

But out of her own decision to love him and remain blind

Undiscerning to the facts she knew well about his nature

His recurring past wouldn’t be one, even now, to falter

Although he promised, crooned and boasted

Of his infallible dedication, that which she once believed she had

His intentions meant well, even at the end of their first relation

And the actuality of his bemusement lied in this love-sick nation

So in giving him this reprieve; this second chance

She hoped she wasn’t dooming her heart

When the mans predictability was a clear science

One that hadn’t changed her feelings for him, not even from the start

And he’s telling her now that he cares

That their separation of the past was a decision he made scared

Scared of pillaging her innocence

An act of his that left her bitter with a vengeance

Was proving to her now, a fact of which she was already aware

That the boy she found such fascination with had a conscience so fair

Although cliché, she loved everything about him, even the things she hated

His beauty was something simple, but was particular to her tastes and tempted

An uncharacteristic reaction out of her that no other could induce

He was one to always tell the truth, the boy who with one breath could seduce

She loved his enthusiasm for anatomy, especially her own

She loved his goodnights every night on the phone

And when he dared to call her his baby, like he used to all those months before

Her heart skipped a beat and she had to catch her wind

With a warning that at any instant he could leave her alone again to walk out the door

But he was charming and he was handsome

He was humble, so clever, and polite

He held such intelligence within, and a humor that always inspired her to write

She even liked his bad boy appeal

Appeasing the rebellion inside her that previously she’d tried to seal

He had a voice that soothed her ears, and a touch so gentle and soft

But also the fortitude and brawn to protect her

Sending her inhibitions far and her spirits aloft

Within his arms, she felt safe and whenever his company was nearby

And all of this is what kept her up late at night when she needed shuteye

His jeep, his bike, his drumming, and Mac-n-cheese were bonuses sure nice

But what captivated her most was his beautiful changing eyes

She’d forget the power they held until he’d catch her off guard in a stare

An enchanting trap unconsciously set to ensnare

And it was during one of these such instances when she was tangled up

That he told her what she had heard, and wanted so desperately to believe last time

The promise that he would stick around, but she could never take his word as a sure sign

All that could prove it to her now was the passing of time, a fact he knew and stated

A fact that meant uncertainty, stress, and waiting, one she detested and hated

But not a fact that could relinquish her single-minded devotion

Towards this boy who so effortlessly had her heart stolen

And with the anxiety of his possible retreat looming

She made a choice not so rational in respect to her dooming